Monday 10 June 2013

#359 - Scandal of Love

*NEW AUTHOR




Kindle Store > Books > Fiction > Historical > Romance
Indie Writer (Self-published)


Description:

Lady Sera Winters was determined to marry for love--or not at all. Close to receiving a proposal from the Duke of Wathersby, Sera’s reputation is ruined after a rumour spreads through the ton that she had been compromised by Lord Devericks--and in a library no less! 

Lord Quinton Devericks, the Earl of Surrant, never thought inheriting his father’s title would leave him destitute, but the gambling debts his father had accumulated did just that. Desperate, he decides to take advantage of the gossip surrounding him and Lady Sera, a woman he has never met. Hoping that her ample dowry would be enough to repair his neglected estates, Quinton risks everything on yet another gamble: a proposal of marriage.

With their lives in shambles, they agree to the only recourse left to them: to convince the ton that their scandalous interlude was a marriage proposal, and that their engagement is based off of love. When a vicious plot against Sera is revealed, she doesn't know who she can trust. Is Sera’s love for Quinton true, or is she only caught up in a scandal of love?

Product Details:

I picked this up as a free Kindle download earlier this year, however at the time of writing this post it's available for a listed price of £1.96.  Click HERE to take you to the book's Amazon page.

Novella - 128 pages (270 KB)

This is Book 1 in the Scandals and Secrets Series.  Book 2 is Masquerade Secrets and tells Aubrey's story.



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Summary/thoughts:

I have to say I was a bit disappointed with this one.  The story was fine, but it wasn't a particularly well delivered product.  Personally, I found it was just too full of Americanisms.

Sometimes, even with a reasonable plot and decent characters one simply does not connect with it.  Having said that, I made it to the end and will read the follow on book to find out what happens to Lady Aubrey.

Rating:

Due to the amount of bug bears/errors (see below), I think that a 3 star rating would be appropriate.

Errors/Bug Bears:

You really don't have to read this, it's for my own benefit, but if you do, please bear in mind I am brutal when assessing a book, unless the writing is seriously above average when I feel I can overlook some of it.  I am fairly certain I have an element of OCD!

General observation:  "Sera" is a very unusual name for a member of the Nobility.  Was it short for something?

7% - "As well as expected I guess".  That phraseology just doesn't fit with the period.

"If our roles were reversed, I know you would come visit me". A conjunction would be nice, perhaps "and" would be appropriate.

"How could this rumour have gotten started".  Lose "gotten" and just purely use "have started".

10% - "No.  I guess, I didn't think of it".  There we go with "guess" again.  

"....I chose to write you concerning my proposition".  It seems that America and England are divided by the use of a common language.  I would have thought "to write to you" would have been better.

11% - "I hate that I have to make this decision now".  I hate to have to make this decision now.

25% - "Come on, let's go watch the others dance.".  Conjunction please, let's go and watch the others dance.

29% - "The snippets of sleep he had gotten the previous night weren't enough ...".  There we go with "gotten" again.  The snippets of sleep he'd had the previous night weren't enough.

Quinton asked one of the maids, "Has Harold already left?".  He would not refer to him so to a servant.

37% - "...... I'll go fetch those things.*  Go and fetch those things, or just fetch them.

38% - "Perfect timing.  Let's go meet him downstairs".  Let's go and meet or, let's meet him downstairs.

"Things had ended friendly ....".  This doesn't feel comfortable, friendly enough feels better.

39% - "aunt".  Capital letter.

"Yes, I will go fetch her, ...".  Lack of a conjunction again, go and fetch her.

39% - "His pants were tight ....".  Pantaloons, breeches or trousers, not pants, it does not fit the time period.

40% - "The carriage ride to the opera house was swift ....".  Capital letters for Opera and House.

41% - "Quinton exited the carriage first, extending his hand to help each lady out of the carriage".  Not necessary to use carriage again, better to have gone with extending his hand to help each lady out.

"With a nod, Sera smiled across the way at the duke."  Sera smiled across at the Duke.

43% - "But he was glad that he had gotten so lucky as to have ...".  I was taught that you shouldn't start a sentence with but, and the ever present gotten.

47% - "....that he enjoyed reading dime novels".  Penny not dime, we do not have dimes in England.

"Did you know he enjoyed dime novels".  See above comment.

55% - "If some of her staff had gotten a fever ...".  Caught or had a fever.

"She was his fiancée.  He was obligated to care about her".  Capital letter for Fiancée and obliged instead of obligated just has a better feel to it.

61% - "It wasn't because he had to, or that he felt obligated, ...".  I hate the use of obligated.

67% - "...I must say she lucked out".  Such unattractive phraseology, better to have used she was unlucky.

70% - "... and the park was only located two blocks from her home".  Arghh ... any authors please note that we do have blocks in England.  Look at map it's all higgledy-piggledy roads.  Please for the love of Pete, please use the phrase a few streets away, or something similar, not blocks!

75% - ".... only slackening the lead on the horse".  Dogs' have leads a bridle for a horse has reins attached.

"She was last seen walking in the garden out back before she disappeared".  The out back is in Australia, it is a particularly unattractive phraseology.  Better to use in the garden or rear garden, as very few of the London Town Houses have front gardens, and even if they did, it was not ladylike to walk in open view.

76%, 77%, 78% & 80% - "duke".  Capital letter for Duke.

79% "father".  Capital letter for Father.

81% - "duchess".  Capital letter for Duchess.

Hugs

Kay

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