#500 ~ The Wicked Lady

The Wicked Lady by Brenda Jernigan

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Book 4 in the 'Gentlemen Always Play Fair' Box Set Compilation, and thank goodness for that - Location 21980 thankfully onward to the conclusion.




Quite frankly, I am as fed us reviewing these mediocre offerings as you are probably reading the fact that I have nothing to say about them other than the errors etc. Stick with the reviews though, there has been much, much better reading going one.

As far as this books is concerned, it was lucky to make 2 stars and not be consigned to the DNF pile out of sheer lack of production values, interest or writing skills.

By this point in the exercise I am so fed up that I don't think I can be bothered to list the actual errors and bug/bears, but just to be thorough I will force myself.

Location 22410: '...got a handful of jelly as she snatched him to his feet...' - jam in the UK, and probably historically known preserve.

Location 22600: '...sidewalks' - nope.

Location 22958: 'bourbon' - Brandy or Whisky.

Location 23209: '...Chatsworth' - the country seat of the Dukes of Devonshire, if you are going to name an estate, don't use one that is so obviously not connected with the characters.

Location 24454: '...don't mind fixing two horses for us?' - are they broken?

Location 24913: 'She bumped his shoulder, and the connection forced her to backed up'.

Location 24918: '...cream-coloured pants'. - Have a little look at the Two Nerdy Histrory Girls blog for some pointers on historical dress(both American writers and both knowledgeable - they are most definitely not 'pants'.

Location 25543: 'A cool breeze tease Kristen's lose strands of hair...' - teased and lose is past participle of lost, so that would be loose.

Location 25983: 'Trevor's mouth moved in such an mesmerizing way...' - a mesmerizing way.





Having considered all the books in the set, I would think that a three star rating overall would be appropriate, but only just if I still had the possibility of half stars it would have been 2.5.

Do I wholeheartedly recommend it?  No, not unless you are into poorly written and produced historical romances without the feel of decent research or effort.

Happy reading.

Kay xoxox










View all my reviews

#499 ~ My Highland Lord

My Highland Lord by Tarah Scott

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Book three in the 'Gentlemen Always Play Fair' Box Set Compilation.




Peppered with errors, showing fairly low production values.

Quite frankly boring, and at points in danger of getting 'DNF'. Rather than better the books in the set seem to be getting worse. So far I can find no merit, and I really wish I could. Still, literature is subjective and it is impossible to please everybody, sometimes that undefinable spark is missing.

Rating for this book 2 stars, and as mentioned in previous posts, I will given an overall rating for the whole box set.


Third book in the 'Gentleman Always Play Fair Box Set (from location 10575 to 16316)


Location 10835: '... his waistband at it his back...'

Location 11171: '...she could taste the saddle soap he had washed with that morning'.  Saddle soap is something for cleaning tack, not for a Gentleman to wash with.

Location 11306:  '... this was just the sort of information she was obliged to investigation.'

Location 15023: 'She jammed her forced between her breasts pressed and his chest.' ?

Location 15467:  'Her dear husband was holded up in a brothel.' - huh?

Location 15570:  'A soft moan emanate from her throat.' - emanated.

Location 16043: '... maximum amount damage.' - amount of.


Location 16083: '...where she and Kiernan were staying were staying she'd ...'


As mentioned before, for this box set I will rate each book and then give an overall rating for the whole set.

Happy reading.

Kay 




View all my reviews

#466 ~ The Earl and His Tiger

The Earl and His Tiger Special Edition: Regency Romance by Elizabeth Moss

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I am afraid it was lacking the essentials. It felt like a facsimile of Georgette Heyer's 'These Old Shades'; and not a good one. Just like it is wrong to try and sing a Celine Dion hit, so it is wrong to try and undertake a Georgette Heyer'esque book without the talent to pull it off. It takes a brave and talented writer to do that.

It would have scored a 3 star rating, but "gotten" reared up and bit this books's rating on the bottom and knocked it down to 2 stars after some thought.

I don't think I will be in a hurry to read more by this author, when there is better and effective writing out there.

The Good, The Bad and, The Ugly

A moderately constructed book; it left me wanting though.

Badly done was the use of 'gotten'.  This writer should be perfectly capable of steering away from its use.  EDITED TO ADD:  FOLLOWING THE COMMENT BY THE AUTHOR I AM GOING TO RE-READ THIS AGAIN IN CASE I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE ABOUT "GOTTEN", IN WHICH CASE I WILL BE PERFECTLY WILLING TO APOLOGISE.

Now for the ugly bits:

'... rubbing down his forehock' (Moss, E (2015) Location 1055).

The hock of a horse is at the rear.

'... his immaculate riding habit ...' (Moss, E (2015) Location 2474).

I'm not thoroughly sure, I must confess, but I am not certain a gentleman would wear a riding habit.  It is a untidy phrase in any event.

'...'Knox, where are my pistols kept?' (Moss, E (2015) Location 3804).

Wouldn't a gentleman know where his own pistols were?  I don't believe that they would have been entrusted to a servant.

'... I shall take up to visit your father.' (Moss, E (2015) Location 4163).

There appears to be a word missing.

Bibliography

Moss, Elizabeth 'The Earl and His Tiger' 8 January 2015 published by Thimblerig Press on Amazon UK.  I downloaded as a Kindle Unlimited title.

Happy reading

#448 ~ On Fallen Wings

On Fallen Wings by Jamie McHenry

My rating: 2 of 5 stars










Featured as a pick of the day back in May 2013 or so,
and whilst the synopsis seemed promising, the actual book turned out to be deadly, deadly dull.

It was nearly abandoned as DNF many times, and it was only due to a woman-ful effort that I managed to drag myself through it ... so it's a yawning 2 stars from me.

Although dull, there weren't too many 'bad or ugly bits'; you can see the full Blog Post #448.


Product Details

It's available HERE, and whilst I got a free Kindle copy at the time, it's now listed at £3.08.

Indie Writer (Self-published)
332 pages
Fiction, Fantasy, Magic & Mystery



The Good ... the bad ... the ugly

As far as the good is concerned, I liked page 104 '...and stuck to my memory like honey.' - very nice phrasing.

For the bad I'm afraid it's the same old missing conjunctions, spattered like seagull's droppings on the promenade.  I'll also mention the 'visit with you' phrasing, which I find jarring.

Where would this section be without 'gonna' or 'gotten' being mentioned.  Thankfully, only once this time.

The ugly section:

Page 16:  'I reached towards might best friend and embraced her tight.' - tightly.

Page 25:  '... grabbed Sean and kissed him right.' - not an attractive word to use, I would have gone for well.

Page 26: 'Sean held me firm ...' - firmly.

Page 30:  'Sean flopped to the ground next me and smiled.' - next to me.

Page 53:  'The morning passed in rapid pace ...' - rapidly.

Page 55: '... poked his head around the wall corner.' - wall or corner not both.

Page 57:  '...Sean, looking at me with sympathy and honest eyes.' - Sean's honest eyes looking at me with sympathy.

Page 96: 'I've never seen snow before the celebration before.' - never a good idea to use the same word in such close proximity.

Page 120:  '... to Leila and me, ...' - and I.

Page 132:  'Taking the weight off my feet allowed a savory sensation ...' - apart from the word being incorrectly spelt (unless you're North American) not sure about in this context.

Page 144: 'Maeia composed herself perfectly ...' - comported herself perfectly.

Page 160:  '... and corralled her toward my home.' - strictly speaking it's correct, but I just dislike the word, and it should be towards.

Page 182:  '... a couple deep cuts had exposed his flesh ...' - couple of.

Page 205: 'Madeline kept a tidy home and her influence was addicting.' - comma missing, and addictive.

Page 242:  '... could get the best of me ...' - better of me.


Hugs

Kay

#447 ~ The Best Boyfriend Theory

The Best Friend, Boyfriend Theory by Laura Lawrence

My rating: 2 of 5 stars








I featured this as a DSOA pick over a year ago now on my Blog, when it was available as a free Kindle download.

The actual plot idea was if not star tingling, then fairly okay. However, the overall rating was adversely affected by the fact that this book had poor punctuation, grammar and language though out. In fact, I would go so far as to say that even my 16 year old Dyslexic daughter would not have made some of the grammatical errors.

Therefore, what should have been a pleasant, if undemanding reading, was a struggle to finish.

My advice to the author would be, if you can't manage the grammar, punctuation, etc. then find an editor to do the job for you. Then hie off to an Adult Education course and take an English course; it would cover the mistakes you have made, and improve your writing no end.

There is no doubt that the author can tell a reasonable story, but there is no doubt in my mind that it is just telling, not showing a reader.

On little highlight to note was that I did spot a comma spice, whether it was there by accident, or design, is difficult to tell though.


Product Details

It's available HERE, although not free anymore.  The Kindle file is currently listed at £2.02.

241 pages
Indie Writer (Self-published)
Fiction, Contemporary, Romance


The Good ... the Bad .... and the Ugly

Let's compare it to a boxing match today.

In the good corner, a nicely applied comma splice.

The ugly was left hanging around holding a water bottle and forgetting to add punctuation throughout.

The heavy-weight of the competition was the bad element; with many, many punctuation and grammatical and tense shift errors - too many to mention all of them.

Additionally, I feel a big shout out should be included for the many missing grammatical coordinates (or particles) for items such as 'come find' 'to go pee' etc. 

Here's some (not all) of the errors:

Loc 361:  'after' repeated in close proximity.

Loc 383:  'weeks' repeated in close proximity.

Loc 553:  'Well I am not going to let him do this to me this time, time to ignore it and act normal.' - I rest my case really with this example!

Loc 581:  'I don't want you moving out and hating me, or moving out and never seeing me again because .... really do love you.' - an ellipse is three dots ... and I think it should be I really do love you.

Loc 680: ' ,,, lifts his god arm up inviting me to come lie my head on his chest.' - good arm; come and lie ...

Loc 721: 'I try to keep my eyes off his tight squeezable ass as I negotiate the water temperature for him.' - a tight squeezable donkey? Probably this should be arse, and I would query the use of 'negotiate' and suggest regulate as a better choice.

Loc 881:  '... and the people I work with our fantastic.' - are?

Loc 905: '... a miniscule red dress with no back and barley covering her bum.' - incorrect spellings, it's minuscule, and barely.

Loc 917:  '... to get to the kitchen but I ensure I letting.' - ?

Loc 1493: '... that's just the excess products in it from lay next to me with his sweaty palm resting firmly on my breast,' - laying.

Loc 1551: 'I unlock the door and let it do, you really think she's ok!' - I've not idea how that portion of the sentence should be constructed, but would guess on let it go, and do you ... the author needs to repair it.

Loc 1595: '... it's Adams ...' - it's Adam's ...

Loc 1596: '... but we need to go to the chemist on lunch.' - at lunch.

Loc 1621: '... I notice to look of terror on Jess's young face ...' - the look.

Loc 1743: 'By the end of my of the story James has come across as a ...' - ?

Loc 1765: '... but I've not spoke to him in so long ...' - spoken.

Loc 1787: 'I have barley spoke to James or even thought about him in weeks ...' - correct to barely and spoken.

Loc 1787: 'A single tear escapes staining my cheek as it slides down my face.' - a lovely example of the need for punctuation.  It is in fact quite a nice sentence, but loses impact.  As it escapes, a single tear stains my cheek, and slides down my face.

Loc 1850:  'Unfortunately whist I was given ...' - whilst.

Loc 1885: '...as I pull into Mums Street.' - Mum's street.  There were many examples of 'mums' missing apostrophe going forward.

Loc 1902:  'I can assure you that's not just me being biased because she is my mum and Phoebe is a marriage wrecking, dad-stealing whore.  Honest.' - a stunning example of punctuation, or lack of it, turned ugly.

Loc 2023: (wins the prize for funniest mistake) 'my own mellow drama ...' - melodrama.

Loc 2099: 'He took this opportunity to tell that Julia thought I was in love with him ...' - to tell me.

Loc 2397: '... I hold him it was pancakes ...' - told him.

Loc 2485: '... make a pack we do it as quickly as possible ...' - make a pact.

Loc 2521: '... chest of draws ...' - drawers.

Loc 2913: 'I know he is furious at me ...' - with me.

Loc 3147: '... add it to the pile of letters I have wrote him over the years ...' - written to him.

Loc 3225: '... where I am sat on the sofa.' - sitting.

Loc 3233: 'Suddenly he is on top of me he tongue hungrily searching for mine, such passion.' - should have been a comma splice instead of a comma.

Loc 3340: '... sex of the baby, providing it is, lay in the right position.' - providing it is laying in the right position.

Loc 3389: '... lay' - again, laying.

Loc 3873:  '... he hasn't t been ...' - an extra letter.

Loc 3972:  '... so they get on quite happy with each other's company ...' - happily in each.

Loc 4029:  '... blue cheque long sleeve shirt ...' - check.

Loc 4063: 'lay' - laying.

Loc 4133: '... and they seem just as content together now as they did we were young.' - when we were young.

Loc 4536:  'They say a parent is only has happy as their saddest child ...' - as.

Loc 4741:  'Felicities birth quizzed by ...' - Felicity's.  An error repeated numerous times.

Loc 4766: 'Luckily Rachel said if I decide not to come back to work I will not months so I don't have to pay back any of my maternity pay which is fantastic.' - Apart from the lack of punctuation, what the heck is going on with the sentence?

Loc 4801: 'My mum's been sending us food packaged with fresh things, tins and also her yummy handmade meals for us to freeze and eat when we want, which ...' - Another stunning lack of punctuation.  I would question the use of packaged, and feel it should have been packages.

Loc 4875:  'Their lawyer said she was the calmest scorn wife she had ever met.' - scorned.

Loc 4960:  '(Who is still in her car seat you understand not just lied on the floor.)' - Firstly, I am not sure it's really grammatically correct to have a sentence in brackets, but would be happy to stand corrected.  To my mind a comma splice might have been appropriate.  Secondly, it should be laying.

Loc 4967:  '... who knows she may be scared for life.' - for her life.

Loc 5011: '... Andrews.' - Andrew's.

Loc 5056: '... as I see her full outfit lay out on the bed.' - laying.


Finally, the end of a rather long list.

Happy reading all.

Hugs.

Kay

#430 ~ Love Me Always

Love Me Always by Marie Higgins

My rating: 2 of 5 stars





Book #1 of the Field Brothers Series




The cover is absolutely beautiful, and this is what tempted me to feature it as a DSOA pick in April 2013.

Unfortunately, I was deceived by the beauty of the outside, and found something less than beautiful inside the covers.

It was reasonably well conceived with regards to the plot, but was badly let down by the research, or apparent lack of it by the author. There were more holes in it than a Swiss cheese.

The author seriously needs to go back to the drawing board, undertake some research, and fix the errors.

The grammar and punctuation was also poor. In fact, there was so much wrong with it that I struggled to finish, and completely gave up on my list of errors/bug bears. I would say that 30% was affected.

I awarded 1 star for the actual content, and 1 star for the cover - thank goodness they picked that cover!

I won't be reading any more of the series, and I won't be adding it to my Review by Series list either.


Product Details

I featured this as a DSOA pick on the Blog in April 2013.  It's available HERE for £2.56.  If a decent edit was undertaken, then this would be a fair price.


Errors/Bug Bears

There were so many that I gave up counting them.  


Happy reading.

Hugs

Kay

#425 - Cats Have Staff - Ingrid Hooper

Cats Have Staff - The Saffi & Misa Diaries by Ingrid Hooper

My rating: 2 of 5 stars





For me this was just a little too simply written, with poor grammar and punctuation.

Unfortunately, the author did have a very clear 'voice' with her writing, and it left me cold. The shame of it was that it's a nice idea that just needed work.

I can see as charming letters/emails to a friend it worked well, just not well enough for me. Thank goodness I managed to get it as a freebie download.

Advice to the author, go to some Creative Writing classes and re-work it.


Product Details:

A DSOA pick from 23rd April 2013, which meant it was featured on the blog due to being a free Kindle download at Amazon at that time.  If you wish to read this it can be purchased HERE at £3.94 for the Kindle download.


Errors/Bug Bears

Nothing specific, but then I didn't invest too much in analysing it, as it was just not that great a read.

#417 - Forget Me Not

Forget Me Not by Melissa Lynne Blue

My rating: 2 of 5 stars







Three positive things about this book: it had a sweet ending, some portions were nicely written and a lovely cover.

Apart from that I'm afraid that the punctuation towards the beginning was terrible; in the main it lacked focus and drive and the standard of English was poor, with lots of errors and bug bears.

A disappointing 2 stars from me; definitely a book I will forget.



Product Details:

I am ashamed to say this was a DSOA featured book last April, picked mainly because of the lovely cover.  

It is available HERE at a listed Kindle price of 77p.  Is it worth the money, I would say not.

326 pages
Fiction, Historical, Romance
Indie Writer (Self-published)
No overt sexual content



Errors/Bug Bears:

Loc 24:   ... she always managed to spill on it - a sentence such as this holds up my point nicely I believe.

Loc 305: She would write her grandmother every day - ditto

Loc 347:  ... he'd thought to secure permission to writer her - ditto

Loc 750:  ... I just cannot seem to wrap my head around any of what's happened to us - I like my "historical" fiction to be authentic, that is not!

Loc 442: He scowled.  ignored him - despite re-setting my Kindle countless times this seems to be a formatting error.

Loc 1850: - The bungalow was cozy - bungalow is an Indian word at the time of the British Raj I believe; not appropriate in this context.

Loc 2114:  It feels as though an entire caravan ran over me - I would question the use of "caravan".

Loc 2131:  ... pistol from his pants - pants is not an historically correct term, if you are going to write in this genre do the research.

Loc 4093:  Go await the magistrate or something useful - by now it will be perfectly clear about much I abhor this kind of sentence structure.

Loc 4285:  go wait on the balcony - ditto

Loc 4377:  ... your feet feel like ice sickles - I would argue it should be icicles, but it may be a difference between Standard English and North American English.

Loc 4702:  ... murder you and leave your body on the moors for the wolves - the sentence should have a comma inserted, and also "wolves" is historically incorrect:  research, or lack of it, lets this piece of work down yet again.

Loc 4857:  A consortium of multicoloured pedals kissed the glow of her skin - multi-coloured and it should be "petals" (actually pedals used instead of petals is common with North American written English for some reason, it could be a pronunciation error that leads to it.

Loc 5217:  ... finally convinced her to rest a spell - such an unattractive choice of wording.


Happy reading.

Hugs

Kay

#411 ~ Coexist

Coexist by Julia Crane

My rating: 2 of 5 stars




Keegan's Chronicles #1



This one another one of my DSOA picks. I tried; I almost failed. This was very nearly a DFN (did not finish), but I battled on regardless.

Poor characterisation, poor plot progression and timing, but please bear in mind that this is just my own very humble opinion. What is one woman's mean is poison to her friend.

It just scored a 2 star rating from me, and I don't think I will bother to read any more by this author.

On a positive note, the cover that downloaded with my Kindle version, was very lovely - note to reader:  it wasn't this cover!


Product Details:

It was a DSOA back in April 2013 - yes, I am really that far behind!

You can download it HERE.  The listed Kindle price is 74p, which is actually fairly good value for money I suppose.

238 pages in length
Young adult fiction
Valknut Press (June 2011)


Errors/Bug Bears:

Page 16 - to*
Page 16 - spilled
Page 62 - they never heard from again
Page 65 - gotten
Page 74 - come talk*
Page 141 - Rourk wasn't a fan chaos and crowds
Page 143 - go grab*
Page 150 - gotten
Page 159 - go sit*
Page 203 - The law governing out battles battles - just not a happy sentence!

Happy reading.

Hugs

Kay

#408 ~ Sweet Piracy

Sweet Piracy by Jennifer Blake

My rating: 2 of 5 stars






This was one of my DSOA picks on the Blog, way back in April 2013, and I've only just managed to find the time to read it.

I had been expecting more than it actually delivered I'm afraid .... it was a little too sweet, and the pace a little too slow and predictable for my taste - it felt like formulaic writing. Actually, a couple of times I really did think it would be a DNF, but I managed to get through it in the end.

On the plus side there were very few Errors or Bug Bears (if you don't know how I roll yet, they are always featured on my Blog in the fuller post).

It may be that this was not as good as some of Ms Blake's other books, and I may well try another to see if there is any improvement.

A sad and disappointing 2 Stars from me I'm afraid.


Product Details:

As mentioned above, this was a DSOA pick in April 2013, and can be found HERE.  The Kindle edition is currently listed at 77p and the paperback £8.50. I would say that the Kindle price of 77p is fairly reasonable value for money.

256 pages
Adult reading (no overt sexual content)
Published by Steel Magnolia Press (29 March 2013)
Fiction, Historical, Romance genre

Errors/Bug Bears:

Happily only a smattering.

Loc 551:  ...and with Anatole somewhat more nattily tamed out beside him ..

Correct to:  ...and with Anatole somewhat more nattily turned out beside him ..

Loc 1729:  ... his two sons, and their tutor rode horseback.

Okay, I admit this one is a bug bear rode horseback jarred, and seemed superfluous, just "rode" would have been sufficient.

Loc 1771:  ... French windows onto its dimly lighted expanse.

I would argue that it should be changed to:  ... French windows onto its dimly lit expanse.

Happy reading.

Hugs

Kay

#375 - Afterlife (Box Set)

The Afterlife Series Box Set by Willow Rose

My rating: 2 of 5 stars










I must admit that I had been expecting far more form this read, than it actually managed to deliver.

Disappointingly, it did have potential to be really quite good. However, the author's use of language was a little too naive. At times the plot hit just about the right tempo, and at others it just limped along. Even if this book was written specifically for the YA group, it falls short.

As far as characterisation was concerned, I never truly invested in Meghan, she came across as a miss nelly-know-all-goodie-gumdrops. As for Mick ..... stalker!

I was also failed to be convinced about the whole spiritual realm the author had going on, and wondered just why she portrayed it so near to real life with weddings, births etc.

If the writing had been tightened up, and a careful eye kept on pace, as well as just a little bit more imagination into the possibilities of the adventures the spirits' could have got up to, then this had the promise to be a much better read.

The end was precipitous, and left answers about what had gone on in Meghan's life, and also who the actual agent for the darkside is at the Academy. Will I bother with the 4th book in the series. Honestly, I'm not sure, if it comes up as a freebie then maybe, but I wouldn't waste hard earned on buying a copy.


Product details:

This was featured as one of my Daily Selections' back in March of this year.

A box set featured Books 1 (Beyond); Book 2 (Serenity); and Book 3 (Endurance).  You can download it from Amazon HERE.  At the time of writing this post it's available at £3.39 for the three books.

A further book (Book 4: Courageous) has now also been released.

I will update the "Review by Series" page with the details - it's the Afterlife Series.


Errors/Bug Bears:

There are quite a few I'm afraid, and I have to say that in my personal opinion "gotten" is the scourge of the imagination ..... it's the laziest use of language that I can imagine, so bear that in mind when you read my list below ...... eyes down, here we go:

2%:  A hundred years?  That was an incredible long time.

Correct to:

A hundred years?  That was an incredibly long time.

3%:  You will get a lot of them answered the coming days when you begin your education.

Correct to:

You will get a lot of them answered in the coming days when you begin your education.

6%:  It is so we know when it is time to go get them.

Missing conjunction and suggested amendment to text, correct to:

It is so we know when it's time to go and get them.

8%:  Mrs Ohayashi came awful close to my ear.

Correct to:

Mrs Ohayashi came awfully close to my ear.

9%:  Later when it was dinnertime and we had gotten our plates full ....

Correct to:

Later when it was dinnertime and our plates were full ...

10%:  I had been wanting to ask Mick for advice but didnLt dare.

Correct to:

I had been wanting to ask Mick for advice but didn't dare.

12%:  .....we haven't quite gotten to that part yet.

Correct to:

...we haven't quite got to that part yet.

14%:  I put both my palms on the mirror and pressed myself through, this time with no resistance and not much exhaustion.  I had gotten much better at this.

Correct to:

I put both my palms on the mirror and pressed myself through, this time with no resistance, and not much exhaustion.  I was getting much better at it now.

16%:  The chair must have gotten the message because all of a sudden it started moving ....

Correct to:

The chair must have got the message because all of a sudden it started moving ....

17%:  I shouldn't have peeked in that book and I shouldn't have broken the rules by leaving the Academy.  If I hadn't done any of all that ......

Correct to:

I shouldn't have peeked in that book and I shouldn't have broken the rules by leaving the Academy.  If I hadn't done any of all that ......

18%:  .....but all I remember is that I am an American girl, and that is a very big country to go look for two people.

Correct to:

 .....but all I remember is that I am an American girl, and that it's a very big country to go and look for two people.

19%:  But I don't understand why I wasn't send direct to Hell ....

Correct to:

But I don't understand why I wasn't sent direct to Hell ....

19% (further amendment):  I have gotten permission from Rahmiel to take you with me.

Correct to:

I have gained permission from Rahmiel to take you with me.

WORK IN PROGRESS ... so you might need to check back later.

21%: Will she remember anything?  I asked when we had gotten back to the Academy ....

Correct to:

Will she remember anything?  I asked when we had got back to the Academy ....

23%:  And what about Jason?  You never helped him did you?  What kind of a friend does that?  They tell you it is for his best, but how could it be?

Correct to:

And what about Jason?  You never helped him did you?  What kind of a friend does that?  They tell you it's best for him, but how could it be?

24%:  You are the only one who hasn't gotten her dress yet .....

Correct to:

You are the only one who hasn't got her dress yet .....

25%:  Even though I had definitely gotten better at going through solid objects, .....

Correct to:

Even though I had definitely got better at going through solid objects, ..... 

25% (further amendment):  Maybe Jason hadn't even gotten home from school yet.

Correct to:

Maybe Jason hadn't arrived home from school yet.

32%:  The whole class burst into laughter.

Suggested change to wording:

The whole class burst out laughing.

33%:  He could always make me feel better after a night spend so close to human despair.

Correct to:

He could always make me feel better after a night spent so close to human despair.

46%:  I hated when he did that.

Correct to:

I hated it when he did that.

48%:  As second-year students, we had gotten used to it ....

Correct to:

As second-year students, we had become used to it ...

48% (further amendment):  I'll wager you didn't know I could that, huh?

Correct to:

I'll wager you didn't know I could do that, huh?

48% (further amendment): I chose Mai, with whom I had talked to a lot lately.

Correct to:

I chose Mai, with whom I had talked to a lot lately.

49%:  His eyes were fixated on the eye of the storm that seemed to be growing bigger and bigger in front of us.

Correct to:

His eyes were fixed on the eye of the storm that seemed to be growing bigger and bigger in front of us.

49% (further amendment):  As Mai said "THREE", I lifted my arms and bend forward.

Correct to:

As Mai said "THREE", I lifted my arms and bent forward.

51%:  Mai was right in front of me, her eyes fully focused, fixated on the path the professor made for us.

Correct to:

Mai was right in front of me, her eyes fully focused, fixed on the path the professor made for us.

56%:  ...... and it sure didn't make me any less anxious about the warnings I had gotten the last couple of months.

Correct to:

...... and it sure didn't make me any less anxious about the warnings I had received the last couple of months.

57%:  He had the right to know that I was going to visit Jason, that I had gotten my permission back.

Correct to:

He had the right to know that I was going to visit Jason, that I had been given back my permission.

58%:  I didn't even look at Mick, but soon realized that he had gotten up as well.

Correct to:

I didn't even look at Mick, but soon realized that he had also got up.

59%:  You only proposed because you knew that I had gotten permission to go outside the school area again .....

Correct to:

I didn't even look at Mick, but soon realized that he had gotten up as well.You only proposed because you knew that I had been given back permission to go outside the school area again .....

60%:  She has just gotten engaged to be married and this is supposed to be a happy time in her life.

Correct to:

She has just become engaged to be married, and this is supposed to be a happy time in her life.


69%:  He was physically tied under the desert in Egypt, but Salathiel, the Angel and Headmaster, had told me he had gotten stronger.

Correct to:

He was physically tied under the desert in Egypt, but Salathiel, the Angel and Headmaster, had told me he had become stronger.

70%:  I knew he looked at women differently that what I was used to.

Correct to:

I knew he looked at women differently that what I was used to.

71%:  It might take awhile before it is completely clear to you why you have gotten exactly this assignment.

Correct to:

It might take awhile before it is completely clear to you why you have been given exactly this assignment.

71% (further amendment):  I was glad we had gotten this.

Correct to:

I was glad we had been given this.

71% (further amendment):  I hate when we argue.

Correct to:

I hate it when we argue.

72%:  It was going to be beautiful beyond what I could ever dream of.

Correct to:

It was going to be beautiful beyond anything I could ever dream of.

72% (further amendment):  Abhik had already gotten his assignment and opened it.

Correct to:

Abhik had already received his assignment and opened it.

73%:  Maybe he will recall some of the time we spend together.

Correct to:

Maybe he will recall some of the time we spent together.

75%:  I have gotten this assignment to grow somehow, and that is what I intend to do.

Correct to:

I have been given this assignment to grow somehow, and that is what I intend to do.

77%:  Even here in the Spiritual Realm the human spirits often make it much harder on themselves than what is necessary.

Correct to:

Even here in the Spiritual Realm the hum spirits often make it much harder on themselves than what is necessary.

86%:  This was a difficult task for him.  But I finally understood why he had gotten that assignment.

Correct to:

This was a difficult task for him, but I finally understood why he had been given that assignment.


JUST A BIT MORE TO GO - CHECK BACK TOMORROW, WHEN I SHOULD HAVE FINISHED ADDING THE NOTES.

Hugs

Kay