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Indie Writer (Self-published)
*Introducing a New Author to the Blog*
Description:
Someone wants Alyce Hythe dead…
Shunned from London society for being the daughter of England’s most notorious spy, Alyce Hythe desires only to clear her father’s name. For years, she has been hidden away from all prying eyes, given a new identity and told to forget who she was. But strange things have been happening causing old rumors to once more be whispered. Long has Lord Julian Casvelyn lived with guilt brought on when his brother was murdered by England’s most infamous traitor. But one eventful night has changed everything Lord Julian believed about his brother’s death. Never did he suspect the woman he has just saved from certain harm is the daughter of that man. Now Julian is caught in midst of a conspiracy and desire for that woman. Thrown together by fate, the two search for answers long denied them and along the way discover a love that can free them both.
Product Details:
This is another free Kindle download I got hold of in March this year. At the time of writing it's still available for free at Amazon, you can get it by clicking HERE.
Book 1 in the Seductive Secrets Series
316 pages
* * * * *
Summary/thoughts:
I really wanted to like this one more that I actually did. At times the plot slowed down, and it because a little boring. Unfortunately, there were a whole litany of bug/bears and errors, and that impinged on by enjoyment, and could have a lot to do with my feeling that the plot slowed down. I am quite an unforgiving reader it seems.
Don't hate me, I did like it ..... but, I did not Love it. If the errors were cleaned up and some of further editing took place, it would probably be worth a further star in the rating. I am always aware that one man's meat is another man's poison, so I know from the some of the other Reviews that Readers' found it good, conversely there were others like me who were appalled by the English.
If you read any of my other Reviews you will probably have worked out that I can be harsh, but fair and honest about a book, and none of the above is meant to offend .... I would happily offer to Beta read for this Author in the future to ensure she delivers a better quality product.
On a positive note, I love the cover.
Rating:
The plot was relatively okay, but I failed to fully engage with the characters. Also, due to the litany of Bug Bears/Errors I came across, and having given it careful thought, I think it couldn't score higher than:
3 Stars
Errors/Bug Bears:
Eyes down for a full house, there were unfortunately many in my personal opinion. The list below is not all, as sometimes I just couldn't be bothered to pick up my notebook and pen to note it down.
Page 20 (8%): "He leaned up, pulled his shirt out of his pants, and then unbuttoned it". This is a particular bug bear of mine with Historical novels based in England. Please do not use "pants" as it isn't appropriate. Use breeches, pantaloons or even trousers.
Page 20 (8%): "Julian looked at young woman and lifted her face with a firm hold". The young woman.
Page 23 (9%): "I wrote the colonel to let me go to London". I wrote to the Colonel to let me go to London.
Page 27 (10%): "pants" - see comments regarding Page 20.
Page 30 (11%): "Every year he disappointed those poor Mommas". Reminder for the Author this is based in England we don't use Mommas, Mamas is the correct word.
Page 30 (11%): "Good Gawd". This is more common slang, probably not used by the upper echelon, it would have been more appropriate to use Good God.
Page 33 (12%): "Good Gawd". See comment above.
Page 38 (14%): "Good Gawd". See comment above.
Page 44 (15%): "Good Gawd". See comment above.
Page 45 (16%): "... he served as a MP ...". It should be an MP.
Page 52 (18%): "The day she was told her father passed etched in her mind for eternity". Firstly, had passed if you must. Secondly, passed is such an unattractive phase. Died would have been been a better word to use in my opinion.
Page 53 (18%): "At Charles's insistence a whole of a new wardrobe had been ordered for her". At Charles's insistence a whole new wardrobe had been ordered for her.
Page 55 (19%): "lieutenant". Capital letter for Lieutenant x 2 on this page.
Page 104 (34%): "It seems a strange situation that her own family has no knowledge of where she is at". It seems a strange situation her her own family has no knowledge of where she is or was.
Page 104 (34%): "As for the introducing Miss Rufford to society". As for introducing Miss Rufford to Society.
Page 104 (34%): "... the duke said with amusement within his voice". The Duke said with amusement in his voice.
Page 106 (35%): "I have well seen to her welfare ....". It is debatable that "well" may have been used in that time period. However, in my opinion it simply smacks of Chav, and I keep replaying they Armstrong and Miller Sketches in my mind involving the two World War II airmen. So we will call this one, and the others I noted (and didn't) a bug bear rather than an error.
Page 108 (35%): "I need to hold a word with you". I need to have a conversation with you, I need to discuss this with you, or I need to have a word with you. I must have discourse with you, but be also be time appropriate.
Page 108 (35%): "Which seems to have gotten quite out of hand". Which seems to have got quite out of hand.
Page 109 (36%): "I find myself in need to take a walk". I find myself in need of a walk, or I need to go for a walk.
Page 130 (43%): "I told Momma". I told Mama.
Page 150 (50%): "princes". Initial capital letter Princes.
Page 152 (50%): "Good Gawd". See comments for Page 30.
Page 160 (53%): "...have well seen to my needs". Have seen to my needs well.
Page 183 (60%): "In the rapture of our bliss you want to go see Lord Tregilgas?". In the rapture of our bliss you wou want to go and see Lord Tregilgas?
Page 221 (72%): "... her eyes fixated upon him". Her eyes fixed on him.
Page 228 (74%): "princes". Initial Capital letter for Princes.
Page 236 (76%): "Alyce has always mainted that Lieutenant Casvelyn woke her and took her Evermonde, ....". Took her to Evermonde.
Page 250 (81%): "He had dispensed with his waistcoat, dressed in a loosen shirt and breeches". Loosend shirt or loose shirt. Oh, she can use breeches!
Page 258 (83%): "chimneys stacks". Chimney stacks.
Page 259 (83%): "Julian had made his intention made clear to all". That's a mess, it's singularly unattractive phraseology. Better to have said: Julian had made his intentions clear to all.
Page 260 (83%): "I felt as though I falling off an endless cliff.". I felt as if I were falling off an endless cliff.
Page 260 (83%): "... for most my life". For most of my life.
Initial upper case letter Lieutenant.
Page 262 (84%): "... that I will have no heir to carry on on our ....". An extra on ... that I will have no heir to carry on our ...
Page 267 (86%): "The signature upon the forms well signalled a forgery". See Page 106 comments about "well".
Page 268 (86%) x 2: "general". Initial upper case letter General.
Page 271 (87%) x 2: "lieutenant". Initial upper case letter General.
Page 282 (91%): "pants". See comments for Page 27.
Page 286 (92%): "She had died given birth to a bastard". Giving birth.
Page 297 (96%): "I have the special licence in my pocket, which well should have been used before this day". Still chuckling about the use of "well - see comments for Page 106.
Page 298 (96%): "princes". Initial capital letter Princes.
Page 300 (97%): "lieutenant". Initial capital letter Lieutenant.
Phew that's quite a list, and as I mentioned above, I don't think I listed all of them.
Happy reading.
Hugs
Kay
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